Are You Having A MidLife Crisis, England
by waterrain
Summary: America thinks England is having a mid-life crisis,but finds out the 'Truth' from England which he is is actually going to a costume party and that his house is haunted.America decides to call Scotland to help. Ireland and Wales finds England at a bar.
1. Lying To America

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Are You Having A Mid-Life Crisis, England**

**By waterrain**

America cheerfully opened up England's door, he walked inside hearing the kind of music that made him blink his blue eyes, and wonder if he was in the right house.

"Hey, England. Are you in here?" America asked loudly and he heard a sudden loud sound along with noticing the heavy metal music was no longer playing.

"I'll be there in a minute, America." England replied calmly and he mentally groaned when the younger Nation just walked inside. After all it figures that the blue eyed Nation couldn't wait along with not listening to him.

"Wow, England. Are you having a mid-life crisis or something?" America asked curiously as he stared at England's tight leather pants, black combat boots, a studded black choker, and noticed that England's hair is neon green.

"America, You bastard. I'm not having a mid-life crisis." England replied angrily, his arms were crossed, and he wondered briefly why on earth America would think that he was going through a mid-life crisis.

"Your hair is neon green, England. So yeah you are totally going through a mid-life crisis. Plus you are wearing an outfit that is not like your normal outfits and stuff. Seriously, You are also wearing a studded black choker." America commented cheerfully and to be honest he secretly felt a bit worried for England, but it is not like he will ever inform the green eyed Nation of that fact.

'Bloody hell, I forgot what I was wearing. I was focused on getting rid of the music by kicking the speakers.' England thought to himself and he noticed that those blue eyes looked at him worriedly. 'I'll just lie to him and tell him that I'm going to a costume party.'

"I'm wearing this outfit for I'm going to a costume party. Ever heard of a costume party, America?" England asked smoothly and he noticed that America no longer looked worried.

"Heh that makes sense, England. That explains your outfit and stuff, but what about the music I heard playing." America commented to him and England had hoped that the younger Nation would forget, but luck was not on his side today.

"Um, Well. You see about that America." England started to say, but then America went on.

"What happened to your speakers? It looks like someone kick them in. Is your house haunted and that is why I heard heavy metal music?" America asked happily despite secretly feeling frightened at possibly being inside of a haunted house full of evil ghosts and he mentally shuddered.

England mentally smirked for he knew that the younger Nation is afraid of anything relating to horror and ghosts. America refuses to admit, but actions speak louder than words at times.

'One of the many reasons why America has so many guns and bullets happens to be because he wants to be prepared if Zombies ever tried to get him. He is silly.' England briefly thought and he looked at America.

"At the moment my house is rather haunted and I have to call in the exorcists to clear up the ghost population which have grown at a rapid pace." England said causally as he watched America's blue eyes getting wider and then added calmly. "They had taken to playing heavy rock music, but then became bored and broke the speakers."

America grabbed England's hand and dragged him out of the house.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" England asked in an irritated voice

"I'm saving you since the ghosts will go after you next. England, You should call your older brother." America stated and his hand was now on England's elbow.

"Which one?" England asked dully and to be honest he has no plans of calling any of his brothers.

'They bloody hate me. At times send me curses and so on.' England mentally thought and he rolled his eyes. 'As if I would ever call my brothers to help.'

"Scotland since he is good at dealing with ghosts and haunted stuff." America managed to reply, England shook his head, and that was when the blue eyed Nation made a choice.

"I'm going to call him." America said suddenly and he pulled out his cell phone. "This is for your own good. Scotland is the best at dealing with ghosts."

"What?" England asked him and he tried to stop America from calling Scotland, but failed.

"Hey, Scotland. Yeah I'm doing okay. Well England's house is haunted. He said that the ghosts had taken to playing heavy rock music, but then became bored and broke the speakers. Oh and England is wearing an odd outfit. At first I thought that he was having a mid-life crisis or something, but it turns out he is going to go to a costume party." America said cheerfully and he didn't notice that England was groaning.

'Damnit all.' England briefly thought and he covered his eyes. 'Should not have lied about there being ghosts in my house.'

"Hey, England. Scotland says that you are lying to me about going to a costume party and about your house being haunted." America commented to the green eyed Nation.

"America, I simply must go now to the costume party. You can sort out my haunted house and so on. After all you are a hero." England said smoothly as he walked away and the younger Nation blinked in confusion.

"Hey, Scotland. It looks like England was not lying since he is leaving and says he is going to the costume party." America said happily and he blinked his eyes. "Oh and he left me with his haunted house….Do you think you can come here to help me with that issue and I'll buy you some alcohol. We can take care of England's ghosts and drink some alcohol. It will be really fun."

'Alright, Scotland will be coming over and I'm sure that England will be so happy to see him whenever he gets back from that costume party.' America mentally thought and he smiled brightly. 'I'm the best hero ever.'

Meanwhile at a bar England had a bad feeling, but shrugged it off and ordered several drinks.

"Honestly, I'm not having a mid-life crisis. America is simply ridiculous." England commented to himself and he rolled his eyes. "I doubt Scotland will come over after all he would not want to help me out in any possible way."

Of course the green eyed Nation forgot that America was the one asking Scotland and also the fact that Scotland would wish to make England upset.

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	2. Scotland Arrives

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Are You Having A Mid-Life Crisis, England**

**By waterrain**

Scotland arrived to the scene of America holding in his arms a stake, garlic, a flashlight, six candles, a large empty pickle jar, and a tomato.

"Hey, Scotland. Nice to see you." America said cheerfully and he looked away briefly. "It is not like I was too frightened to enter inside of England's house that is haunted by violent ghosts that breaks speakers and stuff."

Scotland chuckled to himself and he could tell that the blue eyed Nation was in fact afraid to go inside of the so called haunted house.

"Alright, America. Let's go inside and I'll explain how to get rid of those violent ghosts." Scotland commented causally and America nodded in agreement. "You ready?"

"Yep." America replied smoothly as they walked inside of England's house and Scotland noticed a few fairy's flying around. The blue eyed Nation blinked his eyes for why was Scotland grabbing thin air and appeared to be shoving thin air into the empty pickle jar.

"That pickle jar of yours came in handy. I had captured a few low ranked ghosts and shoved them into the jar." Scotland informed the confused looking America and he was telling a lie. After all he had just shoved the three fairy's that belonged to England into the jar. "Have to make a few small air holes."

'I can't have those fairy's letting my little brother know I'm here.' Scotland briefly thought and he smirked faintly to himself. America tilted his head, blinked his eyes, and shrugged to himself as he watched Scotland making small air holes into the lid of the empty pickle jar.

"So what's next Scotland?" America asked calmly and he noticed that Scotland was grinning widely.

"Alright, A Nation with Blonde hair and blue eyes has to cross-dress for the entire night. After you cross-dress that is when we will drink all of England's alcohol, sing loudly on how England is an idiot, and curse him several times to the depths of hell. That is phase two of getting rid of England's ghosts and making those violent ghosts leave." Scotland replied cheerfully, a smirk on his lips, and he placed an arm around America's hips. "Phase three is dancing and wrecking England's entire house to completely scare away those ghosts."

America blinked his eyes, Scotland grinned widely, and led the blonde Nation to a forgotten room that was lightly covered in dust.

"England has dresses, skirts, tank tops, and a lot of other outfits located here. Along with some other things." Scotland informed America and he asked smoothly. "Did you know that England is a pervert?"

"No, but man look at all these kinky outfits and look there are a few whips here. Plus three handcuffs, dozens of pirate outfits, and a lot of condoms." America said in a voice full of disbelief and his blue eyes were wide. "This room is like a sex shop or something. I thought England was uptight."

"And that is the stuff in plain sight." Scotland told him causally and he noticed that America was staring at him. "Yes, There is more inside of the drawers and inside of the closet. Not to mention in the attic."

"Scotland, I do not want to go looking through England's drawers or the closest. Seriously, I'm in too much shock to be able to pick an outfit. I'll be alright in a few minutes." America commented slowly and he closed his blue eyes. "Man, I never knew that England was so kinky and junk. Talk about a shock to the system."

"Don't worry, America. After this we will drink all of England's alcohol that he has in this house and you'll more than likely be able to forget this room ever existed." Scotland stated calmly and he opened up the closet.

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	3. England Enjoying Himself

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Are You Having A Mid-Life Crisis, England**

**By waterrain**

England decided to dance to the heavy metal music that was playing loudly, his body was automatically moving to the music that was on, and he ripped off his black stubbed choker tossing it up into the air.

'It's been awhile since I last cut loose.' England briefly thought and it felt rather marvelous. 'I should do this more often.'

The green eyed Nation's tight leather pants clung to his body like a second skin and he felt slightly hot from all the dancing. He went to the men's room after grabbing a random empty beer glass, filled it up with water, and dumped the liquid onto his neon green hair. England did that four times and he tossed the empty beer glass carelessly into the garage before heading back out.

"Hey awesome shirt, man." Some random guy commented to the green eyed Nation. England wore a black short sleeve shirt with the words written on the front 'PUNKS NOT DEAD. ITS OLD AND PISSED OFF'. His hair was soaked as was the back of his shirt and personally he felt as if nothing could ruin his night.

England had no clue or idea of what America and Scotland were planning to do to his house or their plans of drinking all of his liquor supply. He did not know three of his fairy friends were trapped inside of an empty pickle jar or that Scotland tricked America into Cross-Dressing by claiming it will help get rid of the so called Violent Ghosts from England's home.

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	4. America Feeling Heroic

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Are You Having A Mid-Life Crisis, England**

**By waterrain**

"When do you think England will be home?" America asked cheerfully as he stripped off his outfit. He put on dark blue panties, a black mini skirt that went an inch above his mid-thigh level, crimson socks that were knee length, a short sleeve mid-drift showing white shirt, and a black choker.

"He won't be back until early in the morning." Scotland replied calmly as he watched the blue eyed Nation changing out of the corner of his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling heroic because this outfit is going to help get rid of those villain ghosts and stuff." America told him bluntly while giving him two thumbs up and a bright smile. "This is for a good cause and a hero has to do what a hero got to do to solve the crisis!"

'Why am I feeling slightly bad?' Scotland silently wondered to himself and he looked at the blonde Nation. 'Maybe because he seems to be trusting or something? Oh well I blame everything on England since he was the one that lied to America first. Alright, I no longer feel slightly bad. This is all England's fault.'

"Time to find all of the liquor in the house and gather it all up in the living room." Scotland told the blue eyed Nation calmly.

"Are we going to dump it?" America asked him playfully and he was grinning widely at Scotland. "Like how I had dumped England's tea into the harbor?"

"Nah, That would piss off the ghosts if we were to dump the liquor. We are going to drink all of England's liquor all gone. Also I just remembered that also to get rid of the violent ghosts we have to dump all of England's tea into the toilet." Scotland replied smoothly and he noticed that America was jumping.

'Thanks for the idea about the tea.' Scotland briefly thought and he noticed that the blonde Nation's panties showed completely when America jumped. 'This is going to be fun. He is pretty eager to get rid of the so called ghosts and I can think of how we can completely ruin England's home. He shouldn't have lied about going to a costume party and about his house being haunted.'

"Sweet, I get to dump England's tea." America commented happily and he looked at Scotland while winking. "It is not like I enjoy dumping England's terrible tea or anything. It is not like I secretly dump one tea pack every single time I come over to his house."

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	5. Ireland And Wales

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Are You Having A Mid-Life Crisis, England**

**By waterrain**

England was drinking another beer and suddenly a there was dark green smoke. He hoped that it was not his brother, but fate was against him.

'Ireland and Wales. My night is officially ruined. I had hoped to have a nice night getting drunk alone, dancing to heavy metal music, and partying.' England silently thought and he gulped down his beer. Ireland let go of Wales left hand while smiling in amusment for it looks like as if England's hope has been crushed.

"Hello, England. I decided to bring Wales and I to the worst bar in the world. I had a feeling you would be drinking in the worst bar in the world dear brother." Ireland said smoothly in an elegant tone as he was calmly flipping off England.

'Scotland had informed me that England would be out drinking alone tonight.' Ireland mentally thought and he glanced at Wales. 'Of course I couldn't leave Wales out of the loop and told him. So I cast a spell and sent us both to the bar that England would most likely be at.'

"Fuck your lousy Blarney Stone, Ireland. You must have kissed that good for nothing stone today." England commented in an irritated voice for it was annoying on how Ireland could sound so elegant without even trying and he noticed that Ireland was smiling in a falsely sweet way. Wales ordered a couple of alcoholic beverages, he was sitting this one out, and decided to watch the show that will prove to be amusing.

"My beloved fairy's are here with me and you have just insulted something rather important to them. That was not nice of you my dear sweet brother. They didn't want to show themselves to your unworthy self, but now they have decided to show themselves for you have insulted the Blarney Stone." Ireland informed England in a delicate and condescending voice. Wales snickered for England looked pale, those eyes wide in horror, and Ireland was smirking now.

"I shall leave your punishment to my lovely fairy's." Ireland commented calmly as he sat down by Wales and grabbed one of his drinks. "Please my darling fairy's don't kill England. After all death would be too merciful and sweet to someone like him. He would enjoy being dead too much. I think he wishes for death for some odd reason at times."

England's green eyes were wide in horror at the sight of Ireland's fairy's that looked out for blood, there was a dozen of them, and he screamed shrilly. Wales and Ireland watched as they causally had some liquor. After about seven alcholic beverages that was when Ireland turned to Wales smirking.

"England was a damn pansy for screaming before my fairy's even did a thing. He shouldn't have insulted my Blarney Stone. Hah hear how he screams for mercy, but he will not recieve any at all from anyone." Ireland commented smugly to Wales and he gulped down his beer.

"England is a bloody idiot." Wales stated bluntly and they went back to watching Ireland's fairy having their revenge on England.

"I'm sorry! Bloody hell I'm sorry! I didn't mean to insult your stone! Please forgive me!" England screamed loudly to the Ireland's fairy's.

"Fairy's can you please gag him or something. His high pitch screams are starting to hurt my delicate ears. Along with Wales fragile ears too." Ireland commented causally and the fairy's nodded at him.

"Anything for you, Ireland." The Dozen Irish Fairy's said at the same time.

"England is an idiot for pissing you and your fairy's off." Wales said calmly to Ireland and he added while smirking. "I think our dear brother has a death wish."

"Yes, I wonder why he has such a death wish." Ireland stated smoothly and they decided to order some more alcohol.

'I hate my damn brothers.' England mentally thought and he silently cursed. 'I shouldn't have said anything about Ireland's Blarney Stone. Should have ignored Ireland, but no I was a bloody moron and decided to insult that stone. Like hell Ireland and Wales have delicate ears! They just got bored of my screaming.'

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**The Blarney Stone is a block of bluestone built into the battlements of Blarney Castle. According to legend, kissing the stone endows the kisser with the gift of gab (great eloquence or skill at flattery). The stone was set into a tower of the castle in 1446. The castle is a popular tourist site in Ireland, attracting visitors from all over the world to kiss the stone and tour the castle and its gardens.**


	6. Tea And Alcohol Supply Gone

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Are You Having A Mid-Life Crisis, England**

**By waterrain**

"Bye, Lousy tea." America said cheerfully as he dumped the tea inside of the toliet and then flushed it while laughing happily. America had finally finished dumping the last remaining tea into England's toilet and he was humming happily for a job well done. Scotland had finally finished collecting the last remaining liquor into the living room and America walked into the living room to check up on him.

'England has a very massive supply of liquor.' Scotland mentally thought and he smirked faintly. 'However it will be gone.'

"I bet you can't drink all of England's liquor." Scotland said smoothly, a grin on his lips, and he noticed a determined look in those blue eyes.

"I can drink all of his alcohol within thirty minutes." America stated bluntly, his cheeks puffed out, and he gave Scotland a serious look. "I'm a hero and I can drink it all gone."

'Perfect.' Scotland briefly thought while smiling and he tilted his head. 'America overestimates himself at times and I will be able to see him drunk for the first time.'

"Okay, America. I'm going to time you." Scotland commented calmly as he watched as the blonde Nation hurriedly popped open a wine bottle with his bare hands. America gulped it down without stopping and breathed through his nose not his mouth. He finished it, went to the next, and did the same thing. After fifteen minutes America's cheeks were flushed, eyes half-lidded, and he had went through an unbelievable amount of liquor in that amount of time.

Scotland noticed that America was half-way done with England's alcohol supply and that blue eyed Nation was determined to finish. He watched as some of the liquor fell from those lips and traveled down that throat. America was gulping it all down quickly and quickly grabbing another. Scotland noticed that the blue eyed Nation's shirt was soaked with alcohol and it was see through now.

"I finished it all." America managed to say, he felt dizzy, and decided to stand up. He stumbled and fell into Scotland's arms. "See, I did it."

'Impressive that he is still able to talk and try to stand up.' Scotland thought to himself as he pulled America closer and held onto him tighter. 'Of course if I didn't catch him then he would have fallen flat on his face.'

"Good job." Scotland whispered into America's right ear and he heard the blue eyed Nation giggle happily. "Now it is time to sing, dance, and curse England several times to the depths of hell."

"Sounds like fun." America said cheerfully, his blue eyes half-lidded, and cheeks completely flushed. His arms were carelessly wrapped around around Scotland's shoulders and he giggled gleefully for the evil ghosts will be gone. Scotland's arms were wrapped tightly around America's hips to support the blue eyed Nation. The blond had no idea that he had been lied to by England and Scotland about England's house being haunted with ghosts. "I'm a hero and the lousy violent ghosts will be gone. I'm an awesome hero, right?"

Meanwhile England was being chased by Ireland's fairy's inside of the bar, he was ducking their magic, and hiding behind objects inside of the bar. Ireland and Wales were singing together. The heavy metal music was forgotten and turned off. Everyone was listening to England's brothers singing.

'They are drunk, but they sing better than me and the crowd loves their singing. What is wrong with this world?' England briefly thought as he ducked several of the Irish Fairy's spells and then he was tripped by Wales. 'Why me? Why do I have them as brothers? They are just bothersome and complete jerks.'

England had no idea that America went through his whole entire liquor supply in just thirty minutes. That supply was suppose to last for six of America's Birthday, one of the few times he gets utterly wasted, and totally drunk off his arse.

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	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank You.**

**Are You Having A Mid-Life Crisis, England**

England made his way home, he opened his door, and those large eyebrows raised up in surprise at the scene. America hugging Scotland and cheerfully kissing him on the cheeks. The blond haired Nation was shirtless, in a skirt, and being all over Scotland.

"What the bloody hell is going on?"

"Hey, America. Your England's back and I'm positive he wants a hug from someone as heroic as you." Scotland commented calmly and he smirked when the blue eyed Nation leaped towards England. "I'll be leaving. He is pretty clingy and needy, but I'm sure you can handle it."

America was laying on top of the green eyed Nation hugging him, giggling, and smiling. England looked up at him and this is his first time truly seeing America drunk.

"Eggy, I'm wearing a heroic choker. It's black like the Dark Knight's costume. Plus I'm wearing an epic mini skirt that's black and goes to my mid-thighs." America commented cheerfully as he moved England's hands and the green eyed Nation closed his eyes.

"America-"

"Eggy, I'm wearing dark blue panties. They are soft."

"America-"

"I love getting attention. I love it when other Nation's say my name."

"You shouldn't-"

"When I don't have enough attention, England. I'm not motivated to anything."

"America, You shouldn't let it cont-"

"I love getting attention, England. I don't care if it's good or bad or whatever." America whispered into the green eyed Nation's right ear and moved England's hand between his opened legs before gently closing around the older Nation's hands. "What do you say to giving me a whole lot of attention? I love receiving attention from anyo-"

England kissed America on the lips and cut him off.

"America, Don't finish that sentence."

",But it's true and stuff." America protested as he rolled off of the green eyed Nation. "The truth shouldn't be silenced."

"Do you want a lot of attention?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure, America?"

"Yes, I'm really sure and-"

"Then don't say that you love receiving attention from anyone for that makes you sound like an attention whore." England stated firmly as he rolled himself on top of the giggling blue eyed Nation.

"Wow, Eggy. You said whore."

"You are a mess."

"Can't believe you said whore." America whispered to England as he wrapped his legs around the green eyed Nation's hips. "I'm not a whore. I just love and enjoy getting attention. Can't do anything if I don't get attention. So please give me a lot of attention, England."

"You are so needy." England commented as he groped America's arse and heard him moaning out 'England'. "Don't worry. I will be giving you plenty of attention tonight, America."

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